I would like to believe the act of being a gentleman isn’t dead, but I’ve been shown multiple times that some men in have clearly aided in keeping it dead. ☠️
I use a cab for transportation a couple of times a week and my baby is with me 100% of the time. Well 95% of the time the male cab driver never gets out to help me with the bags, stroller, or even to open the trunk on their damned vehicle.
Almost all of them are older men too.
After getting everything in the car, including me and strapping the car seat in, I sometimes have made a sarcastic remark to the driver. I’m usually so irritated by their lack of assistance, chivalry or even concern I really don’t have shit else to say to them. Then after they sit there and watch me do all that, they’re going to ask me “You good? You got everything?” I just stare at them in the front seat.
But I wanted to say, Bitch if you had got out the car to help me you would have known if I had everything. Muthafucka!!
When I called one of the drivers out for his lack of assistance, things went like this:
Him: You didn’t ask me for help.
Me: 😒. Why should I have to ask you for help if you saw me trying to get everything in? Aren’t you a gentleman?
Me: A gentleman will offer, not wait to be asked.
Him: I didn’t wanna offend you by asking.
Me: 😑😒 How?
Him: Some women get mad when you act like they can’t handle things themselves.
Me: Ok. But you didn’t even attempt to try. And then you started giving excuses why you didn’t step up, do better.
I remember one time in particular, my homegirl and I have went to the market and a cab came to pick us up. So we had groceries for both of us and of as usual I had the baby with me. After the cab driver sat in the front seat the whole time, my homie and I both loaded the groceries in the trunk. Once we got in he going to say I don’t know what you’re cooking, but when y’all do can I be invited over to eat.
What?? You didn’t even get out to help us put these groceries in car and now you’re looking for a meal. No you can’t get anything to eat. Tuh! He was like y’all look like y’all had it under control. I almost cussed his ass out for real.
An elderly make neighbor saw me getting out another day and offered assistance and told me not to tip that cab driver because he sat in the cab the whole time I was struggling to get the baby and I out. The whole time my neighbor was just shaking his head. I said,
Oh, I wasn’t.
I’m not weak nor helpless, so I can clearly handle the stuff without a man BUT fuck that. I am a fully independent woman, but I’m also a lady that believes in chivalry.
I have not conformed into that “I don’t need a man” rhetoric. I need men and this “independent woman crap” is overrated. Unfortunately, most men are crappy too. And if you tell a woman, “I thought you were an independent woman” as your excuse for not helping her, ummm mister… KILLYASELF!
Most times, I’m more of a gentleman that 80% of the men I come across, and that’s sad.
Ladies, start showing these men, even strangers, how to treat you well so they will hopefully do better. You teach people how to treat you.